I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize