Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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