His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
