Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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