So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
