The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
