id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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