Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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