I cut my penus on the lid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
