I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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