Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize