What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
