Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
