i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She bit a glass in half.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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