If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
