So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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