For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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