# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
