I showed him my bush... on skype.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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