I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
