she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
