dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Vodka?
Forever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His nipple licking is glorious
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