I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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