Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
