According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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