i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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