I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
