When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
