dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
