How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
