Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize