she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
