Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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