Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will die if light touches me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
