Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
