I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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