Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
