you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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