sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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