Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
