So drunk its hurt
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
