i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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