So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
