I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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