all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
