8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
