You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize