If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize