You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
