I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
