You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
