we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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