That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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