a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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