Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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