There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
