I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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