I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
