So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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