Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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