Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
