why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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