but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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