My cat gives me a boner
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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