I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The uberlube is also flammable
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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